I am first generation American, with strong Mexican roots. Being brought up in a Mexican culture has been a rewarding experience (as I have acquired many skills growing up), but most certainly a difficult one as well. I immediately learned where my place was…at home. My culture is a strong believer that women should know how to manage a household, this includes: house chores such as cooking and cleaning, taking care of kids and their husband, etc. Anything outside of this was frowned upon in society. At an early age I was not allowed to play outside with my brother, I was to remain inside being my mother’s little helper. At age 8 I was already sweeping, moping and washing dishes, at age 9 I learned how to make tortillas and at 10yrs old I learned how to wash clothes by hand. These tasks now are a breeze, but when I was younger I remember thinking how badly I just wanted to go out and play soccer with my brother and why I couldn't. Gender norms are importand, they are a fundamental part of our culture. As I grew up, I was often scolded by mother because I wanted to do “manly” things. In middle school and throughout my sophomore year in high school I played sports, until my family (a little more Americanized now) pressured me into finding a job to help put food on the table. Sports along with my organizations were seen as a waste of precious time.
The biggest moment where I definitely realized the implications of a women, was when I decided I was going to college. At that time (I was in high school) I lost the support of both parents. I was heart broken, but now I have learned to live without. I am now about to be a senior and both my parents are barely starting to come around but they still have their criticism about my way of life. A funny example is whenever we have a family events and its right about time for dinner, I usually get scolded for not serving my boyfriend food (who they claim is my husband already). I crack jokes like “God gave him two feet and two hands so he can get it himself", which only turns to more controversy. I think in the end, they have slowly but surely come to realize and accept that I am a woman with strong, independent beliefs, with her own way of thinking. Because I have both cultures instilled in me, I value both hard-work, equality and education (and many others in between), and when I decide to have kids of my own; I will most certaintly instill them with the same values.
I agree with everything you are saying aggiegirl_24. I, too, have been brought up in a similar culture, where a woman is to remain in the home. Her duties are to fulfill her families needs first then her own. That, to most, is the most honorable thing you can do. To be able to run a household and maintain a healthy, functional family is the best and most rewarding thing you can do for your family. When i was younger, i remember going overseas to Syria, and my Grandmother making me do the dishes with my other cousins and i ALWAYS complained about how it was such a pain and that i had better things to do, but she always told me that if i couldn't run a home no one would want to marry me. That is culture, and that is what i know. So that is what i base my life on, just like you!
ReplyDeleteI have to say I can really relate to where you're coming from. I too am a Mexican American girl, raised with the idea that women are in charge of the home and men are the providers. I have to say though it didn't stick. I still feel that I want to be a "good wife" but that responsabilities should be shared in a marriage,and that my cooking and cleaning skills do not define as a good or bad wife. I'm so happy that my fiance shares my ideals. I think I'm lucky in that my parents just want me to do what's best for me. In their eyes that was going to college so I would be self sufficient and able to support my self. When you say that your parents didn't support your going to college it seem so odd to me, but I guess every family is different with different beliefs. I think its great that you did what you felt was right for you even though it was probably difficult at times without the support of your family.Good luck in your senior year!
ReplyDeleteTo Aggiegrl: At the time College had a negative connotation, it was seen as place where girls go crazy with freedom and basically behave like "viejas de la calle". But as they are slowly coming around they know now that that is not the case :)
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